January 1, 2023

Over the past nine days, I’ve spent more time playing the piano, reading, and writing. Solitary activities that allow me to reflect on memories, unanswered questions, the future, and ultimately my grief. My father passed away peacefully the night before Christmas Eve. I’ve expressed at length the emotions I’m going through in other writing that for the moment I’ll keep for myself. He made it to 96 and half, but I would have wished to see his “eleventy-first” birthday (111) like Bilbo Baggins. I wasn’t until he was in his 90s that I realized how incredibly special it is to be in the presence of someone who has lived nearly a century. He was alive in 11 different decades. From the Roaring 20s to the 2020s. Lived through the Great Depression, World War II, the Cold War. Saw trains evolve from Steam Engines to Diesel to Electric. His first car had to be manually cranked to start it and lately rode in a car that can pretty much drive itself. Air travel was on propeller planes when he was born and he lived to see the landing on the moon, voyagers launched and continue to travel billions of miles from earth, and even a helicopter take first flight on Mars.

35,243 is the number of days my father was alive. What an amazing life he lived, and how I will miss him dearly. I know we will see each other again when my day comes, and I hope that when I stand before him once more, he will be proud of the life I’ve lived.

I’ll be posting daily once more as a sort of journal of my quest to find my way, heal, and make my dad proud. He was an excellent father and although he’s no longer with me in person, his teachings and memories will forever remain with me.

I miss you Dad, and I will always love you!


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