After 521 days, I finally set foot in my office. I will only be going in once a week for the time being, but even this feels like such a chore. Not because of the work, but because of the added time having to get ready in the morning and of course the drive to the office.
I did get a strange feeling as if the last 521 days were a dream and I was only gone for a day or two. It was only a quick transitory feeling because I was wearing a mask and there were only a handful of people in the entire floor. We were only supposed to be gone for two weeks. It’s hard to believe the reality is that I was away from my office for 521 days.
I am constantly seeking to better manage my time to do all of the things I want to do and, of course, all of the things I need to do. I have never quite reached a place where I am completely satisfied with how I manage my time. I try to tell myself that the important thing is to continue on the journey and that life requires a constant questioning and self-reflection in order to be better tomorrow than we are today.
I want to be able to laser focus on the tasks I set out to do, but the truth is that I daydream quite a bit and, honestly, I love that about myself. I enjoy wondering about things and constantly looking for more “useless knowledge” to fill my mind with.
I sometimes look through my social media where I rarely ever post anymore. I am grateful that I am no longer constantly posting and scrolling. It’s an activity that can be harmful if you’re not careful, but I don’t want to completely delete my accounts because of the memories on there and the old friendships that I see on there like ghosts of from a past life.
I was watching a video today about gardens in Kyoto and I daydreamed about going to live in Kyoto in solitude and spend the rest of my days as a gardener and groundskeeper. I felt a desire to dedicate myself to an activity that would allow me to be in nature most of the day and live a humble life without luxury and only saving to the occasional trip to explore around the country. It’s not something I could bring myself to do in real life, but it is certainly nice to think about it.
I was at the Hollywood Bowl again tonight and it is so far my favorite concert of the season. I knew it was going to be my favorite given my high expectations of Gustavo Dudamel and tonight being an all-Gershwin program. The program listed the Cuban Overture, Rhapsody in Blue, “other selections”, and An American in Paris. I knew whatever “other selections” was would no hold a candle to everything else. So when this guy walked on stage with a sparkly purple sports quote started singing with what I would describe as a deep woman’s voice, I was shocked. Shocked in the sense that I didn’t know what hit me when his powerful and beautiful voice sang “I’ve Got Rhythm”, “Summertime”, “Someone to Watch Over Me”, and “They Can’t Take That Away From Me”. I was so moved by his voice that it even teared me up.