I came to write something and noticed this was just sitting there:
I wrote yesterday, and today I’m wondering what to write about. I guess I should write about the announcement that I will resume working from the office starting August 2nd. If I’m honest, I don’t know how I feel about that. I guess I should say that I have mixed feelings about it.
On the one hand, I am glad things are returning to normal, and I miss seeing my coworkers and my office. I can’t believe I haven’t even walked in once into my office since March 2020. I think I left behind some snacks and sodas in my desk drawer that I thought I would be returning to in just a couple of weeks.
On the other hand, I’ve enjoyed being at home this whole time. It was difficult at first to be stuck at home for so long, but I’ve come to enjoy it and appreciate it.
Whenever I go a few days without writing on here, I find myself missing the experience of typing away the random thoughts that cross my mind. I was once again watching a broadcast of previous concerts at the Hollywood Bowl on television. In the last few weeks, I have also treated myself to some wine while watching the concerts. Whereas before, I would watch these concerts with the nostalgia of times past, I now watch in anticipation. As of yesterday, I have season tickets to the Hollywood Bowl, the LA Opera, and the LA Phil. I cannot describe the joy I felt of adding the performance dates to my new planners. There are now plans through mid-June of 2022. I’ve missed being able to make plans that far ahead.
There are plenty of stories of people who chuck everything to pursue their dreams and live a wonderful and fulfilling life doing what they love. I am not brave enough to jeopardize my current income for something I have no idea will bring success. The dream, of course, is to travel extensively and write about it. It’s easy to get tempted when you hear about all of the success stories, but I can’t help but wonder how many people have failed for every person that has achieved their dream.
Maybe this is something I can do if I plan on early retirement decades from now. To be happy doing this, I only want to have enough income to fund my travels. I’m not looking for fame or wealth. It would be wonderful to take a trip somewhere like Madrid and visit the museums, the cafés, and lovely restaurants and write notes in a journal. After the trip, I can flip through these notes and watch as the people I meet along the way give birth to characters I can then get a little creative with.
Perhaps I should start doing that with local experiences, but I’m afraid that if anyone close to me reads these embellished experiences, they might read too much into them. Perhaps I overthink, and I should go for it.
I don’t have any travel plans yet because I’m being very conservative about relaxing precautions toward the pandemic, but I do have my Hollywood Bowl tickets bought and an LA Opera subscription through June 2022. So perhaps I’ll look there for some embellished experience material.
Just a few years ago, I was constantly sending messages to friends and planning events so I could fill every moment with friends. I believe this behavior stemmed from me being a loner most of my life, and I got a taste of what it was like to be very social. I wanted to constantly be surrounded by people, even though this is mentally exhausting for introverts like myself. What even made it more exhausting that in many cases, I was the only one initiating our get-togethers or communication
So I experimented by letting the foot off the pedal and see who was willing to also put in the effort for our friendship. It turned out not many. Despite all my efforts, I was still that same kid that was picked last to play on a team. I guess I’m just not the best at socializing, and pretending anything different is disingenuous. This week alone, I was given three examples of how friends behave towards me. The first, I sent a text to see how they were doing, and I got a polite response but no further conversation. The second, I received a text asking how I was doing and then proceeded to ask for a favor. The third was checking in on me because they had not heard from me in a while. We ended up talking on the phone for over an hour and making lunch plans.
Today, I am grateful for those people that want to be a part of my life and accept me and those around me for who we are.
I like the work I do, but sometimes I wish I could have stayed in the sciences. My ideal would be a setting where I am confronted with a problem that requires me to meticulously look for a solution by consulting textbooks, case studies, and journals that are all laid out open on a table with highlights and sticky notes. Preferably with a window looking out at a nocturnal cityscape or at least one where it was raining outside. I love the sciences, and I regret not exploring that world even deeper while in college.
I don’t dislike doing house chores, but I hate doing them at this very instant. Chores are essential and need to be done regularly, but just not now. That is my default mindset. That is why experts recommend that you write tasks and goals down. I have written things down in so many different ways and apps, and it just hasn’t been helpful for me because I never go back to look at my lists. This is why I’ve been thrilled and hooked on writing things down in a planner that you decorate with stickers and colored pens. It may be too girly for 99.9% of men out there, but it has been a joy for me. I want to look at my planners constantly throughout the day, which has kept me on track to accomplish the day-to-day tasks that need to be done.
I am again delaying pivoting my blog to something more fun and valuable for others to read. At this moment in time, I need this blog to be a journal where I can express the random thoughts that occupy my mind.
I had two wins today that I think are noteworthy. The first is that I got more chores done than expected, and they were surprisingly joyful to complete, and I attribute that to my planners. I’m glad I’m probably the only one reading this because I can’t imagine this being interesting to anyone but me. The second win was at the dentist’s office. I went for a checkup after nearly ten years of not going to the dentist. After looking at my teeth and the x-rays, he turned to his assistant shocked and said,
“Would you look at that. A full set of teeth and not a single cavity.”
I was shocked myself because although I take care of my teeth, I know there is room for improvement. I have definitely been blessed with a good set of chompers!
Since getting all my planners, today was the first time I sat down and planned out my week. I am always in the habit of putting appointments, meetings, and events into my electronic calendars, but I have never been good about planning out the tasks I need to do. Armed with stickers and colored pens, I put down the tasks and chores I need to do to keep myself accountable. I have not yet incorporated any workout goals into my week. I need to do some more careful planning this week because I have several health appointments for my parents, and I also scheduled my car maintenance and dental appointment this week to get everything in one shot. So I’m not sure how feasible it is to set any big fitness goals.
I have never been this excited about planning…especially planning chores!
Today was my nephew’s 8th-grade graduation. If there is one thing I am grateful about this pandemic is that it has taught me to appreciate family time much more. I treasure it now much more than I ever did before. It also makes me realize just how quickly time progresses. We were celebrating at the same hall that 12 years ago was used to celebrate my undergrad graduation. It seems like not too long ago, and yet so much has happened since then. I have fallen out of the habit of using my DLSR camera that I used to take with me everywhere. It brought me joy using it today, and I imported the photos to my computer and posted them for the rest of the family to enjoy the same day. I have historically tended to want to edit all the pictures before sharing them. So often, I would end up never sharing them. Anyway, I am very proud of my nephew, and I can hardly believe that he will soon be a high school student.
I forgot to mention that the Bible I got is actually a Biblia. I bought a Bible in Spanish for two reasons. The first is that Spanish is derived from Latin, and Latin was the language of Rome and kept alive for centuries by the Catholic Church. Up until the twentieth century, masses were given in Latin. Therefore, since I love traditions, I thought it would be nice to read it as close to Latin as I could understand. The second reason is that Spanish is the language of my parents and ancestors. I am proud to say that I am as fluent in Spanish as I am in English, and I hope never to lose that.
But enough about that. Today was a pretty lovely Friday. We drove out to the high desert to have some Cajun food, and afterward, we got some Dole Whip not too far away from the park where we ate the Cajun food