I am listening to Gabriela Montero play a piano adaptation of the adagio after the second movement of Bach’s Violin Concerto No. 2. It is so incredibly peaceful and moving. Perfect for the quiet hours of the night. I give myself license to imagine myself playing in a dimly lit room. It may sound strange, but my mind enters a state of blissful peace as my imagination is set free to wander the mysteries of the universe, life, and the divine. It is moments like these where I am grateful for almost entirely being away from social media. I also think of different people in my life, and in my thoughts, I appreciate those of the past, the present, and those I’ve yet to know. Even though there is no public record of the space I give each person in my mind, it is a more sincere form of appreciation.

My mind is pulling me back into the world of music and how much I miss live performances. I am mostly thinking of small intimate performance spaces: probably due to the solo piano of the album I am listening to. I miss being at the university nearly every day, where I could wander into recitals or practice halls and indulge my soul with classical music. The last time I felt like this, I ended up applying for graduate school. I’m afraid this time there will be no return to school. There are many alternate paths in school I love to entertain. At the moment, I contemplate the life of a graduate student in piano performance. A life full of countless hours of practice punctuated by recitals every now and then. I sincerely wish my hands were on a different keyboard at the moment, but it’s much too late for those 88 keys.

There’s a theory that there’s an infinite number of versions of you occurring at the exact same time. It’s fun to think about sometimes. I wonder if any of my alternates ever imagine themselves as my present self.